I am writing to congratulate you on your very successful advertisement campaign. For it is very successful indeed, this morning I purchased my first bottle of Jameson. You see, everyday on the subway to and from work I am forced to gaze upon your ads lining the border of the car and all I want to do is sip a nice glass of Jameson. I don’t even drink whiskey. In fact I don’t drink at all, or haven’t in over 10 years; that’s right I’m a recovering alcoholic. But after reading your ads twice a day, five days a week, for the past several weeks I could no longer restrain myself. All day at work I would fantasize about whiskey, then read the ads repeatedly on my way home from work. Upon arriving at my apartment I would settle down for dinner but the food provided no sustenance, it could not come close to the satisfaction I knew I would obtain from the smooth burn of your whiskey. At night I’d have dreams of bathing in a tub of Jameson, only to wake up cold and longing for the sweet, sweet buzz I so pleasantly enjoyed in my slumber. So finally, this morning I caved, hit up the local liquor store before work and took swigs from the brown paper bag on the train. I gained such satisfaction from the warm liquor sliding down my throat. Now, half a bottle later, I sit at my desk in the office sipping the remainder of the whiskey from a paper coffee cup. Maybe its because it does go well with that song playing in my headphones, maybe its because those adds did give me a break when I was sitting in the map seat, maybe its because I am weak willed; whatever the reason, Jameson, you have won.
